I think it's been almost a year since I've written to you. A lot has happened in that year. Dad graduated from college and got a permanent job working for Boon. He's designing toys and fun kids stuff. He loves his job and that makes us so happy. We took a trip in March to go interview at some graduate schools he was looking into and he got accepted to every single school he applied to, I was not surprised. He's so smart in his field. Smart enough that Boon offered him this job so we decided to take that job and settle here for a while so I can finish school. We feel so blessed to have work in this economy. This is a really hard time right now for our country. We have a new president who is making some decisions that are really tough on our economy and we can only hope and pray that the Lord will guide him, no matter his religion. This year we also went to the doctor because we were having a hard time getting pregnant and the doctor told us that we are unable to have children naturally, so that was some hard news. But we found that out right around general conference time and President Monson told us that "our future is as bright as our faith" and we have applied that to us and to you and we've decided to have faith and we know we will meet you some day. We also are grateful to live in a time with lots of options. We can adopt you, or have medical help to conceive you and a hundred other things. But I promise you, we will find you. We will do whatever we can to meet you, to bring you into a home full of love. We will try to be the best parents we can be. We will respect you, and we will listen to your thoughts and what you have to say and we'll try to understand your feelings and we will teach you the gospel and about our Savior who loves us. He loves us and because of that, He will send you to us I know it. We will find you. We love you. We're trying to do so many things right now to prepare for you. We've put an offer on a home to buy so we'll have a place to put you! :) We have Family Home Evening as though we already have you with games, treats, Primary Songs and fun lessons. We sit close to the front at church so you will behave! We pray for you. A lot. We're waiting for you. And we love you. I write this through my tears because my dear children, it hurts right now, to want you so badly and to want to care for you and to not be able to, but my faith is bright and though my patience isn't as bright, I know you will be here in due time. Your dad and I have lived in Grandma and Grandpa Smith's pool house for 2 years now. It is small, and we have a lot of stuff. And I gripe and complain about it a lot. I want walls, I want my own bedroom, I want a kitchen, I want a craft room and a family room and a dining room, and I tell your father that a lot. But I want to now share with you a story about a woman I met today who has changed my view on things and who has changed my life. Her name is Marjorie Knell Robinson and she lives in a Nursing Home that falls in our ward boundaries and Dad and I got to go have Sacrament Meeting at that nursing home, Village Oaks, today. In the middle of the meeting a lady whom I did not yet know asked to be taken back to her room because she wasn't feeling well, and so I helped her out the door and then somebody else wheeled her back to her room and the meeting went on. After the meeting, Dad and I were walking out and we passed the lady's room who was sick and your dad stopped and turned around and we went into her room. Dad said "I'm sorry you're not feeling well, and I hope you feel better" and she began to talk, telling us about her heart and how sometimes it beats too fast, and he high blood pressure gives her problems and she knew she wasn't doing well so she asked to leave the meeting so she wouldn't disrupt. I could tell she was grateful we stopped by so I knelt down beside her wheel chair, she invited Dad to sit down in a chair and we began talking. We told her our names and she knew who dad was. He was just a little boy when she lived in his neighborhood but she remembered him and his family. It was a fun connection to make. And then we began talking about how the Lord answers prayers and she told a story that I'd like to tell you. She said that when she lost her husband, and then when her kids took away her car keys and she lost her independence they then put her in the nursing home. And she said she looked around at those 4 walls and didn't know what to do. I've seen the home she had lived in, it's big and I imagine moving into a tiny bedroom with a roommate she didn't know, was very hard. But she said that the very same week she moved in, she was reading in the Ensign and there was a story about missionary work and prayer and how if you pray the Lord will bless you with opportunities. And so she said she prayed that even though she was confined to such a place that she could share the gospel and within one week 4 different people came to her and asked if she was a member of The Church and then asked for copies of the Book of Mormon. She then talked about how when he was just 29 her husband was called as the bishop and they had 5 young children and a a family of 7 just like theirs had just lost their house to a fire and these people moved in with Sister Robinson and her family and she took care of them. She also talked about wanting to help her children know where they came from so she researched family history and knew a lot about her ancestors. She said that's the best tool for missionary work. You can just ask somebody who they are and where they came from and if you know your pedigree, it will always line up or meet up somewhere and you can make a friendship and a connection. This woman was an answer to my prayers and let me tell you why. Yesterday in the temple I was waiting in the waiting room of the Initiatory area and I watched a woman probably 35 years old come in with her mother and her grandmother. And I got to watch this woman take care of her grandma and help her get dressed and walk her to her place and help her get seated, and I felt robbed. I felt sad that I missed out on getting to do things like that with my Grandma because she passed away before I truly appreciated her and wanted to do things with her. And I wished in my heart and said a little prayer that I might find a grandma here on Earth that might need somebody, because I certainly felt the need for a grandma to love and as I knelt at the feet of Sister Robinson today I knew she was an answer to my prayer. She was today the grandma here on this earth that I needed. I love her. And I tell you this story because it taught me a lesson. I complain all day about wanting a bigger house and needing all sorts of things, but Sister Robinson who lives in an area half the size of the pool house is happy, and sharing the gospel and helping people like me realize that it's not where we live, or how big of a home we have, or how much money we have that matters, it's sharing the gospel and helping others see and feel the Light of Christ. Kids, Sister Robinson is an example to me and I hope will be to you. An example of being grateful for what you have and not sad for what you don't have. That's a lesson that my dear parents taught me and I hope to be able to teach you. You have wonderful grandparents and fantastic aunts and uncles and you have great people to look up to and I hope and pray that you will pattern your lives after the good people you know and after our Savior, for He is the ultimate example. I love you kids. I love you so much right now that I can not imagine loving you more, though I know that the first time I lay eyes on you my love will expand beyond my comprehension. I long for that day. Your dad and I have been married 2 years tomorrow, and that sweet time spent with just the 2 of us is a treasure I will be grateful for forever. And if it's 2 more years, or 5 or 10 or 100 before I get to meet you I will be waiting for you, and I will be loving you.
With all of the love in my heart,
Mom
